


Only Pretending

by consultingpiemaker



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, OR IS IT??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 00:52:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2672774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingpiemaker/pseuds/consultingpiemaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if we pretend to be together?" Those were the words that started it all. It was Bucky's idea because their friends kept assuming they were secretly a couple, and Steve played along, not really thinking about it. But he would soon regret it when it's starting to get complicated and he has to ask himself: Is he really only just pretending? But what exactly do you do when you realize you've fallen in love with your best friend who happens to be your fake boyfriend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Pretending

It was never quiet when the friends were all together. There was always someone talking, two or more arguing, someone sneezing or coughing, laughing or sighing, it was rarely silent. Whenever they had a movie night, the majority of the time someone was commenting on the scenes, whether with a "Why do bad guys always wear black?" or "Seriously? A Nokia phone? When was this movie made, in the Stone Age?" or just comments on the dialogue and mocking repetitions of it.

Usually it was Tony who chose the movies, because he knew where to get them and he was always up to date with the best ones. That night they were watching a movie that no one had ever heard of but Tony promised them that it would be good, and he wasn't wrong.

The movie was almost over and for half an hour nobody had said a single word, everyone was staring at the big screen and enjoying the action packed finale. Explosions made them wince and an unexpected death made Clint gasp, what made Natasha laugh and she earned a smack from Clint.

The screen faded to black and Tony reached for the remote to switch off the television and turn the lights back on, but dimming them in order not to blind anyone.

"Aww, look at Steven," he said when he turned around to the sofa opposite him. Steve had fallen asleep (if he would have been awake he would have said something about being called Steven) and his upper body slumped to the side and his head ended up leaning against Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky turned his head without moving too much and tried to look at Steve, and smiled when he saw how peaceful he looked. "He didn't get much sleep last night," he explained.

"I don't even want to know why," Clint said and grabbed his glass of water from the table and he took a big gulp. Tony raised his eyebrows and looked from Clint to Bucky.

"Don't be too rough with him, you know he's really fragile," he added.

Bucky frowned and shook his head. "What do you mean by that?" he said, not really putting it into a question. Sometimes he just didn't get what Tony was talking about. "Why would I be rough with Steve?"

"Don't even bother, Bucky, Tony just can't shut up about it," Natasha said and she rolled her eyes. She put her legs on the sofa and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Shut up about what?" Bucky repeated with a confused look in his face.

Tony tilted his head and raised one eyebrow, gnawing on his lower lip. "Do you really not know what I'm talking about or are you just pretending?"

"Cut it out, Tony," Bruce hissed demandingly through his teeth.

"Why should I?"

"Because we agreed on leaving them alone," Thor explained. Everyone was ignoring Bucky and talking about him as if he wasn't even in the same room.

And this bothered Bucky. "What the hell are you guys talking about?" He had raised his voice, and Steve moved and opened his eyes, yawning.

But Tony didn't give up. "You two can quit the act now, we all know that you're together," he said.

"What did I miss?" Steve asked, not only being confused but also looking it. "Who is together?"

"Nobody," Bucky answered, maybe a tad too loud and too quickly. He turned around to face Steve. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Steve nodded and they both got up, and everyone's eyes were following them out of the room. Tony whistled, but Bucky just ignored it. They went into the kitchen and Steve sat down at the table, resting his head on his hands. He was still sleepy and had to hold back another yawn.

"What was that about?"

Bucky sighed. "As far as I can tell, they all think that we're together."

"We? As in _us_?" Steve asked.

"Apparently Tony wouldn't shut up about it."

"He's just jealous."

"Of you or me?" Bucky asked and smirked.

Steve laughed and then shook his head. "But is he serious?"

"Think so."

"Well, I'm not gay," Steve just said.

"Me neither." Bucky was leaning against the fridge. He looked as if he was deep in thought. "But what if we were?"

"Excuse me?" Steve lifted his head up from his hands and threw an evil glance at Bucky. That was nothing he could decide just like that. What was wrong with him?

Bucky waved about with his hand. "No, I don't mean in reality, but what if we pretended to be?"

"Meaning?"

"What if we pretend to be together?"

"That is by far the stupidest idea you have ever had, Buck. Why should we do that?"

"Think about it!" Bucky said excitedly and sat down on the chair next to Steve. His eyes were glowing and a huge smile was on his face. He looked at Steve, expectantly, but Steve didn't seem to share his joy.

"I am thinking about it," he said and shrugged. "But I don't see the appeal."

"Oh come on, Steve, it's going to be fun!"

"Fun? Someone's feelings are just going to get hurt, I don't need that," Steve replied.

"We only have to do this for a few days. I just want to see the look on their faces, and by that I mean Tony."

Steve considered this. "I would be interested in seeing his reaction, actually."

Bucky nodded enthusiastically. "It's going to be hilarious!"

"But just for a few days and then we're going to tell them the truth?"

"Promise."

"Alright," Steve said. "I'm in." He got up from the chair and walked towards the door, but Bucky grabbed him by his wrist and stopped him.

"Wait, we still need to talk about how we're going to do this."

" _How_?"

"Well, you know, it has to be believable," Bucky explained and he still had Steve's wrist in his hand and used this to pull him a bit closer. "We might need to be closer now," he said and his face was only inches away from Steve's, "and more touching should be involved." He raised his arms and put them around Steve's neck. "We're in love, remember?"

"For a few days," Steve added, and he couldn't look Bucky in the eyes, blaming his strained neck from his not so comfortable position earlier. He was still exhausted and could feel his cheeks burning.

"For a few days," Bucky repeated with a smile and ruffled up Steve's hair with his hand. "I never thought I'd ever have a boyfriend."

"You should consider yourself lucky because I'm a perfect boyfriend," Steve replied and shoved Bucky's hand away from his head.

"Well, well, look at that," Tony said and clapped in his hands. Neither Bucky nor Steve had noticed him as he was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed.

Bucky stepped away from Steve. "Were you eavesdropping on us?"

Tony raised his hands. "It's my house."

"It's your father's," Bucky corrected him.

"Whatever," Tony said and then looked at Steve. "So I was right the whole time, huh?"

"Why don't we, uh, go back to the others and then we can talk about this," Bucky suggested, earning a snort from Tony.

"They're already talking about this," he said.

"Then let's go." And with a satisfied smirk Tony lead the way back to the living room, Bucky and Steve following him, quietly. Before reaching the room, Bucky looked at Steve and asked, "Can I take your hand?" and then intertwined their fingers when Steve nodded.

Natasha and Thor, who seemed to be in the middle of a conversation, stopped and turned around to the door, as did Bruce and Clint. They all noticed the smirk on Tony's face, and after he sat down again they all noticed the hand holding. Natasha started to smile, everyone else looked a bit confused.

Bucky cleared his throat. "Steve and I have something to tell you." He raised his left arm and put his and Steve's intertwined hands into the air, relying on the meaning of this gesture for their friends to understand.

"Told you," was all Tony said, the satisfaction clear in his voice and the expression on his face. He raised his hand and pointed at Bruce. "You owe me ten bucks – no pun intended."

"You did _not_ bet on us," Bucky said indignantly, but Steve nudged his shoulder.

"Guess it was obvious, huh?" he said with a loving smile on his lips, and he even winked. Bucky didn't know if this was a remember-we're-desperately-in-love-reminder sort of a wink or if it was part of the act, a flirtatious wink. Playing along, he tried to put a loving smile on his lips and he thought he succeeded because Steve winked again.

"Tony always said that you're in love with each other but just too stubborn to admit it," Thor said. "Thanks for telling us, though, we will never judge you." He looked as casual about it as he sounded.

"Thank you," Bucky said sincerely, and he grabbed Steve's upper arm with his other hand and squeezed it. He threw a loving glance at his _boyfriend_ and rubbed his arm.

"For how long did you manage to keep this a secret?" Natasha asked.

Steve looked at Bucky, having no clue and trying to come up with something, and it looked like he was trying to remember exactly. "Um, for two months?" Maybe they should have prepared for questions like this, but now it was too late. They just had to make do, they had no other choice.

"You don't sound so sure," Natasha said, a hint of doubt in her voice.

Bucky quickly stepped in. "Well, it's just that we didn't exactly get together on a certain day, it just sort of happened over the last few months." Sounds legit. He could feel Steve's hand squeezing around his, what encouraged him and made him feel less nervous. Also the explanation was reasonable, so it was fine.

"Alright. But you don't ever need to hide anything from us again. As Thor said, we're not judgmental," Natasha said.

"And now sit back down, it's not like it's a huge deal. We're living in the twenty-first century, so it's no scandal material." That was all Clint said, but he smiled at the both of them as they sat down on the sofa again, only this time intentionally close, hands on top of each other.

Maybe they were overdoing the whole couple act, but – although neither would admit it – they kind of enjoyed the moment. If Tony had thermographic cameras installed in this room, Jarvis could tell them that Bucky and Steve were literally beaming with heat. They felt like schoolboys who played a trick on their friends or teachers, and in a way they were. It probably was the thrill of getting caught that made both of their hearts beat faster than usual, at least that's what they told themselves.

"Anyone up for another movie?" Tony asked, flipping the remote control into the air and catching it again.

Thor stood up and stretched his back, a yawn escaping his lips. "Not me, I promised to pick up my brother from a party."

"Oh booh," Tony said, making farting noises with his mouth on the back of his hand. "Loki can't do anything on his own, can he?"

"Not when he's drinking," Thor replied, shrugging, and then raising his hand as a general gesture of goodbye. "See you," he said and left the room.

"It sure must suck to have a brother," Tony sighed and slumped back into the sofa.

"Hey," Clint complained, throwing another evil glance at Tony, which didn't erase the smirk from Tony's face, "you have no idea what you're talking about."

"How is Barney doing by the way? When was the last time you saw him?" Tony raised his eyebrow, and it looked as if he wanted to provoke.

But Clint wasn't up for that tonight. "He's doing great at his new job, but he lives 7 hours away, so I don't get to see him that often anymore."

"That must suck. I'm really glad that my family lives close by," Steve said, just casually throwing it in.

"Your boyfriend lives in the next room, you can't complain," Tony said.

"I'm not," Steve defended himself, and then he smiled at Bucky and put one hand on his thigh. "But yeah, you're right, that _does_ have its advantages."

Bucky smiled back at him and licked his lips, and Steve was very pleased with how they were doing so far, everyone seemed to believe them. He had just averted his eyes from Bucky to look back at Tony, when he noticed movement and turned back to see what Bucky was doing and then he felt lips being pressed against his own. He could feel Bucky's breath on his face, and without thinking about it, he closed his eyes and returned the kiss. Before pulling away, he felt a hand at the back of his head, and then it was over and he opened his eyes again just to see Bucky grinning at him and then ruffling up his hair a bit.

Steve heard an _awww_ from Natasha, but only faintly. He felt like his heart was pounding so loudly that it erased all of the noise around him, and he could feel blood rushing into his cheeks. He didn't dare to look Bucky into the eyes, he didn't dare to look anyone else in the eyes. He didn't want to reveal anything, not his confusion and surprise, and especially not the act.

Tony didn't make any fuss at all, much to Bucky's regret. He didn't flinch, he didn't even say anything about the kiss. Quite the opposite, really: Bucky could swear that he saw a smile on Tony's face, but it was gone almost immediately.

"You're cute together, you know that?" Natasha said and broke the silence, and the affection in her voice made Steve look up and even smile thankfully. "You seem happy."

"Jealous?" Bucky asked, still beaming.

Natasha nodded hesitantly. "A bit, yeah."

"You've got Clint," Tony said, pointing with his head at Clint next to her. And Clint turned around to Natasha and put his hand on her knee, winking at her.

"Guess that leaves you and Bruce," Natasha said, pursing her lips. Tony raised his eyebrows and he blinked, thinking about a good comeback. He looked at Bruce, who blew him a kiss, what just looked ridiculous and made everyone laugh.

"Nah," Tony just said, shaking his head. "I prefer longer, blonde hair."

"What a shame that Thor already left," Bruce said.

Tony gaped at him, feeling betrayed by his best friend. "Shut up. Don't encourage them."

The next hour the six friends just sat there and talked, quiet music in the background. Bucky and Steve made sure to always have contact, whether it was their hands, their legs, or their feet.

Steve started yawning constantly, and when it was slowly starting to get brighter outside, Bucky clapped in his hands and stood up.

"We better be off," he declared, and Steve stretched his legs and arms and followed Bucky.

"You can sleep over," Tony said, but Bucky shook his head.

"Thanks, but I need my bed. Let's go, Stevie." Bucky ignored Tony's wink and got his and Steve's jackets. "Don't forget to sleep," he said to the others and then helped Steve getting into his jacket, what made Steve feel super uncomfortable, he wasn't a child anymore, but maybe it looked adorable. After zipping up, Bucky took his hand and they both walked towards the door.

"Good night," Steve said and smiled at everyone, not caring that it was early morning. A collective "you too" was audible as they left the room. The cold air hit them when they went outside, and they hurried to get to Bucky's car. Only then did Bucky let go of Steve's hand.

Bucky was driving silently and Steve had leaned his head against the window. Bucky didn't know if he was asleep or still awake, but if he was awake, he barely moved and didn't say a single word. He had turned on the radio, but lowered the volume a bit and switched to a channel with music that wouldn't wake you up with sudden banjo solos if you were in a light sleep.

When Bucky stopped the car in front of the apartment building, Steve got up immediately and left the car. Confused, Bucky looked after him before getting out of the car as well and locking it. He sprinted until he caught up with Steve, who had already unlocked the door, and he followed him up the stairs to their apartment.

After taking off their shoes and jackets, Steve was about to disappear into his room, but Bucky grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him. "Is something wrong, Steve?" he asked and felt a bit of a relief when Steve stopped and at least looked him in the eyes.

"It's –" Steve shook his head. "It's okay, Buck, don't worry."

"It's obviously not okay, you haven't said a single word on the way home. Why, what's wrong?"

"It's fine, really."

"I knew I shouldn't have gone for the kiss, I'm sorry, man. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"I didn't even say it's because of the kiss."

"But it is, isn't it?"

Steve sighed. "It's not that it made me uncomfortable, really," Steve assured him.

"Did I embarrass you in front of someone?" And then he had another idea for a reason. "You told me your crush on Nat was over, right? I'm sorry if that was embarrassing of any sort."

Steve would get an ache in his neck if he kept on shaking his head like that. "It's not Nat, don't worry."

"Then why are you so silent all of a sudden?"

"It was my first kiss, okay?"

Bucky's eyes opened wide and he said, "Oooh," as it started to dawn on him. "I'm _so_ sorry, Steve, I had no idea." Steve looked at him with a dubious _You sure?_ look on his face, but Bucky insisted. "I didn't think about that, I feel really bad now."

"It's okay, I just –" Steve shrugged, "didn't think it would be like that. Freaked me out a bit, I guess."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am," Bucky said, and he looked as if he wanted to be swallowed by the ground. "I'm sorry that your first kiss was meaningless, I feel really bad now. God, why did we even agree on doing this?"

"It's alright, and now stop worrying and go to bed, you look like you could need some sleep."

"If you want us to stop, just tell me."

"I don't," Steve simply said.

"Feel free to make a list of things I'm allowed to do and not allowed to do, I don't want something like this to happen again." Bucky ran his hand through his hair before he opened the door, turning around and ready to apologize one last time, but Steve stopped him.

"Bucky, there's no need to feel bad about it. What happened, happened, and it's okay."

"But your first kiss should have been with someone you love," Bucky complained, and he actually looked devastated when he turned around again and went into his room. "Have a good night, Steve."

"You too, Buck," Steve replied, lingering in front of his door for a while, staring at the now closed door to Bucky's room.

A minute later, he was lying on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. _It's okay, it's alright_ , who was he kidding. The kiss didn't freak him out because it was his first kiss (but he loved Bucky's concern and romantic view of it), but because it was _Bucky_! It might sound like a cliché, but in that moment, when he felt their lips touch, he felt butterflies in his stomach and he thought he might actually pass out.

There was one reason why he thought this whole pretend thing wouldn't be a great idea, and that's because for a few months now he had been thinking about feelings and attractions, and he came to no satisfying conclusion. He was confused. One night of research on the internet led him to think more about his sexuality and that's when he started questioning his own. The fact that his heart had picked up speed when Bucky kissed him (and even now, solely by thinking about it) was – although still confusing – probably answering the question for him if he really was as straight as he always assumed he was. Meaning, he definitely wasn't.

_Your first kiss should be with someone you love._

If only Bucky knew…


End file.
